I always thought it was strange that Cornwall had so many place-names involving the name of a saint…so I wrote a poem about it…and found out there was even more places named after holy men and women. It’s possible that I have missed the odd one. (I made it 77 Saint place-names and 55 named after holy men and women). To be honest this poem took some writing…

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT S’N KEVERNE

We need to talk about Sn Keverne.

Well…it’s not just him…it’s all the rest.

There are too many saints in Cornwall

And I think it needs to be addressed.

As I’ve already intimated,

I’m not for singling out Sn Keverne.

I could just have easily started

With Sn Teth, Sn Loy or Sn Levan.

Sn John, Sn Michael 1, 2 and 3,

Sn Joliot, Sn Keyne and Sn Ewe.

Sn Columb both Major and Minor;

Sn Stephen 1 and Sn Stephen 2.

Course you may have already noticed

That I’m pronouncing the Cornish way;

Missing the ‘T’ from the prefix Saint…

I do hope that’s Sn Cleer as Sn Day.

When the Domesday Book was first written

And thirty thousand lived in this land…

Go back five hundred years before that

To when those saints just got out of hand.

Back to when twenty thousand lived here;

Which gives us a ratio let’s say…

One saint for ev’ry two hundred folk.

That’s better than councillors today!

Sn Elvan, Sn Mabyn and Sn Ive,

Sn Merryn an’ Sn Endellion

Sn Anthony 1 and 2, Sn Eve,

Sn Buryan and Sn Mellion.

It does raise the obvious question

Just how saint-like might you have to be?

I mean, just what did you have to do      

To get a halo on your CV?

Lend somebody a couple of coins

Or save the life of the village drunk?

Change a cartwheel on a brewer’s dray

Or live a model life as a monk?

Save some sheep from a ravening wolf?

Help a neighbour in digging a ditch?

Dabble in herbs, potions and cure-alls?

But avoid being charged as a witch.

And questions the reasons behind it.

There’s a cynic deep inside of me

That tends to tell it as I find it;

That wonders why each place has a saint

Then questions the reasons behind it.

Petty parochial jealousy…

Celebrity envy ensuing…

“Next door has a saint, why haven’t we?”

“Perhaps we should start interviewing?”

Sn Lawrence, Sn Agnes, Sn Tudy,

Sn George, Sn Neot, Sn Enodoc,

Sn Adwen and both the Sn Martins,

Sn Benets, Sn Nectan, Sn Breock.

It seemed every village needed

Some kind of soul facilitator.

Of course, in modern times they’ve all been

Replaced by a defibrillator.

Some had to get here from other lands

In search of beatification.

Coming over here in their small boats

A mighty wave of immigration.

The Cornish knew what was good for them

And they’d worked it all out, I’ll wager.

It makes no sense to cast aside help

That comes in the guise of a stranger?

Yet, we didn’t know much about them;

Except tall tales of how they arrived;

Crossing seas on a millstone or leaf

And thanking God for how they survived.

Perhaps they were hoping to impress

By creating a wondrous story.

No internet to check up back then…

Google Sn Izzy or Sn Mary.

Sn Cornelly, Sn Helen, Sn Wenn,

Sn Winnolls, Sn Ervan, Sn Gennys,

Sn Dominick, Sn Uny, Sn Erth,

Sn Eval, Sn Newlyn, Sn Dennis.

There seems to be so many of them

With their pasts decidedly hazey…

Sn Maw, Sn Allan, Sn Gluvias,

Sn Pinnock, Sn Veep and Sn Blazey.

Of those who remain a mystery;

(We don’t know if they’re women or men)

Until historic research tells us

Then their pronouns must be ‘they’ and ‘them’

Some of the names are clearly made up

Sn Jidgy…really? Not a prayer!

Or what about Sn Ingunger who

Sounds like a desk bought from IKEA.

There are a few that we know about…

Two dozen kids of Welsh King Brychan;

Fourteen sent on a YTS scheme.

That is Young Trainee Saints, I reckon.

It’s no surprise given the uptake

That some of them might not be all right.

Imagine if you did that today (cough…Reform!)

There’d be some who weren’t whiter than white.

And here we have the blessed Sn Just;

With both a Roseland and Penwith church;

Stole Sn Keverne’s communion plate;

Just a big fan who wanted some merch?

Stealing a plate from a fellow saint

Is both unholy and downright rude.

Sn Keverne wasn’t having it and

Just dropped it after being pursued.

Then there was the forbidden bromance

Between Sn Austell and Sn Mewan.

Inseparable apparently.

Only God knows what they were doing.

There’s a Sn Mawgan up in the north

And after a thirty-mile journey,

There’s also Sn Mawgan in the south…

But there is only one Sn Erney.

Sn Ann, Sn Minver, Sn Hilary,

Sn German, Sn Breward, Sn Winnow

And not forgetting Sn Piran

Who is the patron Saint of Kernow.

Many of them kept a Holy Well

One such was Brychan’s boy, Sn Clether.

Maybe some could have a specialty

Like Sn Clement for Cornish weather?

Or pray to Sn Kew for some patience

In dealing with tailbacks in traffic.

What harm can it do? It might just help

With summer’s increased demographic.

Which of these is my favourite saint?

Let me ponder before I confirm

The patron saint of indecision

Who could only ever be…Sn Erme

Thankfully each saint wanted a church

Sited nowhere near any people.

Umm-ing and ah-ing about whether

To have a tower or a steeple.

Now that we’ve reached almost eighty saints

I must confess to some affection

Not for saints…but the churches they built  

They’re havens of peace and reflection.

There are fifty-five other places

Named after holy men and women

Like Budock, Constantine, Mellanus

Cub(b)y, David, Grada and Lugan.

Lewdegran, Cubert, Probus, Sulyan

Pol de Leon, Deguman, Padern,

Petroc, Wennapa, Symphorian,

Werburg, Felek, Fili and Maddern.

Winwallow, Meloir, Corentius,

Stediana, Keri, Feoca,

Meva (with Izzey, of course), Sancreed,

Hernow, Hydrek, Creed and Ladoca.

Gudwal, Theone, Ruan, Samson,

Mawnan, Colan, Germoch, Morwenna,

Crantock, Sennen, Gerant, Senara,

Nevet, Nunet, Gwendron, Morrenna.

Gwinear, Gothian, Manacca,

Sithney, Guron and finally Kea,

They’re the many saints of old Kernow

That seem a bit too many for me.

© graylightfoot

Statue of Saint Piran (sculpted in Cornwall by Stéphane Rouget and David Paton) prior to being transported to The Valley of the Saints (La Vallee des Saints) in Carnoet, Brittany.